10 Ways to Gain Weight, Feel Miserable, and Shorten Life

by Aaron Hoopes

1. Stay away from fresh vegetables. Fresh vegetables provide the body with essential vitamins and nutrients that keep the body healthy and are not recommended if you are trying to contract cancer or some other life-threatening disease. Vegetables also provide fiber which helps the digestive system process the food we eat. Avoiding vegetables should help you to experience digestive problems as well as keeping your bodily functions irregular.

2. Eat red meat, lots of it. Red meat is an excellent source of saturated fat and cholesterol which can cause high blood pressure and heart disease. A diet of red meat offers a much better chance of contracting colon cancer or having a heart attack. Be sure to eat the more processed meat from fast food outlets. This meat has been filled with antibiotics and chemicals that will play havoc with your health.

3. Drink diet soda. Don’t be fooled by the word diet in diet soda, this is the go-to drink for gaining weight. Studies have found that drinking diet soda has a direct effect on weight gain. Even better, every can or bottle of soda you drink increases the chances for you to become obese. Don’t be worried if you don’t like the taste of diet soda, they have added special chemicals to addict you to the taste even if it tastes horrible.

4. Stuff yourself. Stuffing is not just for Thanksgiving. Make every meal a gorge fest. You want to cultivate that feeling of heaviness in the belly, making you lethargic and unmotivated for anything. Filling yourself until full and then munching on a little bit more will guarantee bouts of indigestion and other uncomfortable bodily processes.

5. Eat while distracted. Be sure to eat with the television on so you are not aware of how much food you are putting into your mouth. Try to eat on the run if possible. Don’t stop to think about what you are eating, just eat. The practice of eating while driving your car is an excellent example of this type of eating. Another good way to practice this is to eat while talking on the phone or texting. Try to do anything but pay attention to what you are eating. That way you can overeat and be sure you don’t enjoy it.

6. Eat more candy, cakes, and refined sugar. This list would not be complete without sweets. Foods filled with refined sugar are an excellent source of calories and assist in rapid weight gain. The human body cannot tolerate large amounts of refined carbohydrates that come from sugar and you should be able to damage your internal organs with enough sugar. An added benefit from excessive amounts of sugar is irreversible tooth decay.

7. Take a lot of prescription pharmaceuticals. Prescription medications provide an excellent source of chemicals to unbalance your bodily systems and make you feel terrible very quickly. Be sure to mix them together so that the cocktail of chemicals can destabilize the body’s natural ability to heal itself and prevent you from recovering from what ails you. Consult your doctor and insist on a prescription for medications you’ve seen advertised on television or in magazines. If you are lucky the side effects should necessitate needing more medications.

8. Smoke cigarettes and drink alcohol to excess. Cigarettes are a shortcut to unhealthiness, smoke them whenever possible. Be sure to inhale the smoke deep into your lungs and cough as you exhale. In addition to damaging the delicate lung tissue it has the added benefit of burning your esophagus and staining your teeth and fingers. Drinking alcohol to excess is a wonderful method of causing cell damage in the liver. Even better, drinking can impair brain development and help with destroying the cardiovascular system. If you can manage to drink a lot on a daily basis you should be able to ruin your family and social relationships without too much difficulty.

9. Don’t exercise, ever. Exercise is the number one cause of healthy feeling within the body. It increases blood and energy flow through the body and can quickly make you feel much better. Avoid it at all costs. Exercise doesn’t have to be hard physical exertion, even gentle movement such as yoga or tai chi can cause positive feelings. Turn on the television and eat whenever the urge to move comes upon you.

10. Forget to breathe. Breathing brings more oxygen into the body. The oxygen is converted into energy and flows through your body. To stop this from happening, try not to breathe deeply. Short, shallow breaths in the upper chest are best for bringing in a minimum of oxygen. If you are in a stressful situation be sure to hold your breath and tighten up so that you can get the most benefit from the lack of oxygen and tension in your body.

Finally, if you are truly serious about gaining weight, feeling miserable and shortening your life, do not read the book Zen Anti-Diet: Mindful Eating for Health, Vitality and Weight Loss. Everything in this book runs counter to the practices listed here. In addition, be sure to avoid The Art of Zen Yoga as it instills a sense of relaxation, flexibility and overall good health to anyone exposed to it.

The Zen Anti-Diet

Aaron Hoopes and Zen Yoga are happy to announce the publication of the new ebook

Eat Smart: The Zen Anti-Diet

This little book is a daring approach to eating and losing weight, except that it is not a diet book. Instead, it is an application in the context of Zen about healthy food and eating habits that should be part of everyone’s life. It provides anyone the framework for achieving their ideal weight.Eat Smart starts with the basic proposition that most of the diets we are bombarded with daily on television, in books and other media just don’t work! They just don’t. And the dieters who appear to benefit generally gain all the lost weight right back.

The Zen Anti-Diet is a practice of learning to be mindful of what you are putting into your body and allowing your body to reach a natural state of peace and contentment.Fundamental point of this book is about Zen and becoming attuned to the present moment. Practicing the Zen Anti-Diet is a recipe for happiness, health and long life.

Aaron Hoopes’ book Eat Smart is a holistic approach to eating which follows the precepts of Zen in its emphasis on experiencing the present moment and on connecting with the core of one’s being.Starting at the most basic levels, Mr. Hoopes counsels a slowing down of the food consumption process and underlines the importance of water in the human circulatory system. He suggests maintaining a peaceful and happy environment for eating and urges you to pay attention to the usually unheralded nutritional value of chewing longer. He also recommends you try to avoid achieving sensations of fullness by being mindful of the timing and the size of your meals.

Perhaps one of the most important aspects of the book is to refrain from consuming the many additives, chemicals and poisons found in processed foods.Hoopes provides a number of exercises to help imprint the Zen Anti-Diet concept in your mind and offers tools to enhance the beneficial habits of food consumption.

ORDER NOW!

I Asked for Strength

I asked for strength, I was given difficulties to make me strong.

I asked for wisdom, I was given problems to solve.

I asked for courage, I was given obstacles to overcome.

I asked for favors, I was given opportunities.

I asked for love, I was given people who need love.

I received nothing I thought I wanted and everything I needed.

Live each moment without fear.

Confront the difficulties, problems and obstacles before you and you will overcome them.

Recognize opportunities and you shall learn to learn from everything.

Love yourself, and others will love you.

And always…remember to breathe.

---Aaron Hoopes

The Zen Yoga tour continues...

It was great to meet everyone at the Zen Yoga workshop at the headquarters of the World Traditional Karate Organization (WTKO) in New York City. Chief Instructor Richard Amos has really put together a great space for training.

After the workshop we moved on to the East West Bookstore in Manhattan for a lecture and book signing. Thanks to all who attended.

Next up is Odyssey Books in South Hadley, MA on November 29th and then Barrington Books in Barrington, RI on December 1st.

All details are on the website - www.artofzenyoga.com

Naturopathy

The art of naturopathy is thousands of years old. The ancient Chinese practiced it. Ayurvedic Medicine of India is based on it. There have always been people who understand that healing will occur naturally in the human body, if it is given what it truly needs, the proper diet, pure water, fresh air, sunlight, exercise and rest.

In naturopathy the emphasis is not on finding a disease and killing it, but rather on helping the body establish its own state of good health.

Of course we must recognize that allopathic medical care is, at times, necessary, we need to realize that many accepted allopathic treatments can be harmful.

Allopathic philosophy holds that disease is caused by external agents, chiefly by bacteria and viruses. According to this belief system, a cure will result when these offending agents are eliminated. Also, the allopathic belief also tends to look at the symptom and the disease as one and the same, so that when the symptom has been eliminated, it is presumed that the disease is cured. The Naturopath, however, sees the symptom as nothing more than a signal that something is wrong. In naturopathy, when a symptom alone is eliminated, it is most likely being suppressed. Unless the original cause has been eliminated, the symptom may return later in a chronic form.
Basic Naturopathic Principles:
Do no harm. Naturopaths do not use harmful substances, such as drugs and pharmaceuticals, and do not rely on dangerous procedures, such as surgery.
Recognize the healing power of nature. Naturopaths understand that the body has an innate capacity for self-healing. They are equipped to educate their clients in setting up a proper external and internal environment so that healing will take place.
Find and eliminate the cause of poor health. Naturopaths help their clients evaluate their lifestyles, identify the cause of their health problems, and take corrective action.
Teach Health. Naturopaths teach their clients how to achieve and maintain good health. This empowers their clients and enables them to participate in the process of staying well.
Honor the total person. A person is never simply a headache, or a back ache, or a sore throat. Unless there has been an injury, seldom does any problems occur in isolation. Naturopaths understand that people are physical, mental, and spiritual beings, and that one "dis-ease" affects all areas of life.